I found myself in this country colonised by Portugal, making them a portuguese speaking nation. I on the other hand was unfortunate in this particular case to have been colonised by, is it Great Britain or the United Kingdom? It didn't really matter at that moment who my colonial mistress was because clearly the major language they left me with wasn't helping me get past immigration. Even though everything about my travel was clearly stated in my travel documents, this immigration lady just wanted us to have a conversation. I usually wouldn't let such a scholarship slip by but.. in portuguese!! Wait.. Google Translate. I took out my phone. Useless move since I had a Ghana sim card in there.
Somehow I managed to get out of the airport eventually. It was at this point I wished I had instead stayed in the airport. At least the signs in there had english translations. Everything in the city was written only in portuguese. I wondered... are these folks that proud of their language or do they hate the English folks that much. I managed to change some money without uttering a word. Back at home I would spend more time convincing the forex bureau to give me a higher rate than they actually spent in changing the money for me. Not here. I hadn't even learnt how to say 'good afternoon' yet. First thing I did was buy a local sim card. Yes!! Google Translate was back online now. Things were beginning to make sense. I was proud of the Google boys for their hard work on this very useful tool but that pride was soon going to be punctured.
A month in this country and I had picked up quite a few phrases and words but not enough to help sustain the smile on the face of this friendly lady who walked up to me at the shopping mall trying to sell me a product. "Não falar português" (I can't speak portuguese) I told her. I had used this line so many times it got auto-memorised. This lady was so determined to sell she didn't stop talking. Then she asked a question I had heard before. "Ghana" was my response. At that point her portuguese got advanced so I whipped out my phone, opened my most used app by now - Google Translate, gave it to her to type what she was saying. That was it!! We were by now having a full conversation on my phone. Who would have thought. Google Translate? Unbelievable!! Mobile internet in this country is sooooo expensive compared to what I am used to in Ghana I kept thinking of my credit running out. Already a month here and I had spent so much on phone credits just for Google Translate's sake. Of course, I kept my cool as if burning my internet was okay. Oh how men suffer! So what was supposed to be her pitching her product to me ended up as we having lunch together. Don't blame me for having the vibes. We ate, talked, well I mean typed, laughed. Was this turning out to be Romeo and Juliet? I asked her one question and as usual she took my phone to type her response but what I read left me confused... "I am not liking your question" was the translation Google Translate gave me. I think this just became Romeo and Bullet. What did Google Translate tell this lady I said that I didn't say. Obviously, my sentence must have been translated wrongly because in my mind there was absolutely nothing wrong with the question. You'll never know what the question was so stop having wild imaginations :)
Since there is more than one way to say stuff, I rephrased and this time, Google Translate made me proud again. I have been living solely off Google Translate for a little over 2 months now and so far ... so good.. It causes confusions every once in a while but hey... It's a software not a portuguese brain. Great work Google boys!! More Vim.